Countdown to retirement: 40 days

I was going to do a 40 days and 40 nights theme for this one, but that seemed too obvious. Instead I bring you:




In terms of its variety of uses, apparently WD-40 is the new duct tape:

• Removes tar from feet
• Protects arrowheads from corrosion
• Removes duct tape (well, there ya go, it's all part of the plan)
• Unsticks stuck boat horn
• Protects vintage steam equipment on paddlewheel steam boats
• Lubricates hinges on skunk racing box (is the skunk racing, or the box??)
  
• Cleans peanut butter from shoestrings
• Shines seashells (oh, the clams will be so happy!)
• Lubricates power injecting device strung from the ceiling in Cardiac Catheterization Lab
• Spray on balcony to keep pigeons away
• Cleans remote controls
• Frees stuck Lego blocks
• Lubricates robot joints
• Cleans gum from chicken feathers
• Keeps missile silo doors swinging freely
  
• Cleans and protects handcuffs
• Lubricates fingers stuck in hole (hopefully not in the missile silo door)
  
• Removes gum from flagpoles
• Removes melted plastic from toaster oven
• Removes squeak from dental chairs (the better to hear the drill, my dear)

Ok, one really has to wonder who's been sticking gum on flagpoles. Or chickens. I get the plastic in the toaster oven, especially if one has children. (I once baked a plastic spider right into a waffle.)


If you're really gung-ho about WD-40, you can join the fan club! (As Dave Barry would say, I'm not making this up.) I wonder what the cheer would be...

Give me a W!
Give me a D!
Give me a 40!

Hmmm, loses something in the translation.

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